Seeing Cara

I really miss my wife, but I got to see her today at Zara's school conference. Zara's a good kid, but not challenged academically other than learning Norwegian vocabulary. Cara wants to live here forever and will bully me into it if she can. Still, she's my wife and I love her. This week I also discovered that she likely took out a loan in my name and hers on the equity of our house. And she says she can't trust me. I guess I know where she's been getting the extra money from. I'm going to have to close the account of course, but I'm not sure how to handle it best. It's fraud after all. I just can't bring myself to separate from her financially though so she gets to keep screwing me there. At least she's paying down the credit card. It all hurts so much and I'm still not sleeping great, so I fall asleep at other inopportune times when I sit still for too long. Last night I kayaked out to sleep in a tent on Flatøyna in the hopes that it might help. Being cold and miserable was a distraction, but maybe not the best one.

I am not managing to keep the house clean either, which is stressful. As is switching all the payments over to new cards. And the fact that I have to move at the end of June. I want to move the kids back to the US, but I don't think that is going to happen. Maybe I can just out my stuph in storage and move in somewhere in August. Seeing the different ways the Avengers handled grief was probably instructive.