Forty-One |
|
24 August 2020
I started my 41st year in Utah up, as I am today, before the sun. That day I ran 50 km, completing my second ultramathon. It was an auspicious start to what would end being a difficult year, but one which I've found to be rewarding an with much personal growth.
The first hit came when Cara finally succeeded with her parental alienation strategy, and Maxwell and Zara moved out. Not just moved out, but Cara came to my place when I wasn't home and took everything she wanted down to sheets, clothing and electronics. Brittan had already not been speaking to me, but Alora started ignoring me too then. I have seen Zara once since then, but only because Cara needed my signature on the papers for the kids to stay in Norway. Maxwell I have seen more throughout the spring and summer, but it's been hard being treated like less than a person. Somehow, parts of my wider family have also joined Cara in ostracizing me, including not inviting me to my sister's wedding or even telling me about it. As my mother put it, "Cara's mother is dead, so she needs me as a mother now". I guess having me on the other side of the world makes it easier to pretend that I don't exist. I have mostly not spoken about splitting up with Cara here in 2020, but Kevin Nalty coming out about his separation from Jo inspired me to say something. Fortunately, his separation has been more amicable.
The Fall saw more running adventures as I travelled to Ålesund, Malta and Champagne, and my training has continued to include biking when the weather is good and more recently swimming. Yoga has been harder to keep up with, but I still try to do at least a little every day. I spent the year under 90 kg, so it seems that weight is going to stay off with this new healthier lifestyle I'm charting for myself.
The year was one of ups and downs in my emotional life, but I began and ended the year in a relationship with someone who continues to bring me happiness and challenge me. Being repeatedly beaten at Scrabble by someone is definitely a new thing for me. There were two archetypes of woman that I encountered in my youth, the critic (my mother) and the cheerleader (my grandmother). Having spent two decades married to a critic, I learned pretty quickly dating that archetype was a bad idea. So I found a cheerleader. She's a very private person, so respecting that you're not going to find much else about her here.
I remember being in my early twenties at a Braves game seeing guys younger than me playing and realizing that I'd never have a baseball career. Oddly, I was wrong about that. That woman I mentioned in the previous paragraph heard me talk about this foreign game so much that she found me the Wet Sox. Now I'm a starting outfielder for a team in the highest division in the country ... okay, so there are only two divisions, but I'm still flying around to play baseball against the best players in the country. Never thought I'd be saying that at 40!
This year also saw a job transition that was softer than previous ones, because I just had me to take care of. To save money I slept in a tent in the woods for a while and cut out alcohol, which is a major expense in Norway. But eventually I found new gig here a few weeks ago as Head of Software Engineering for SeaSmart.
Of course, Covid-19 hit in March and cancelled my race in Cyprus and pretty much all races for the year. I think all this overprecaution is not just silly, but a dark turn for our civilization that I'm not sure we'll recover from. The right to travel was a hardwon freedom that too many have handed over willingly to the governments of the world. These past months I've travelled around Norway as much as I can and chronicled the trails I've seen. Norway is one of the most beautiful countries on Earth. And last weekend I ended the year as I started it, running around in the mountains, courtesy of a train ticket to Geilo from my kjæreste.