Mess

When I woke up this morning, I thought it was Friday. There's a TV blocking the refrigerator door. It's a Zenith. I bought it for Cara in 1999, so she'd fall asleep in bed watching the VHS of the Matrix instead of on the couch out where out main TV was. It was my acquiescence to television in the bedroom. But no TV in the bedroom now. I won. It's blocking the garage fridge, the beer fridge, home of Bradley's bane.

My life is a mess.

Those who chose to live life to the fullest often find themselves in a state of chaos. Mine is at least. When things fall you pick them back up again. At least I used to. Now it's just on to the next thing, the next adventure. The mess accumulates in the garage. The car that can't pass emissions so we leave untagged. The beer bottles for brewing. Bookshelves broken in moving. Books. Bugs to eat them if I'm not careful. Cara found a silverfish crawling on her arm this morning in the bedroom.

My life is a mess.

Eknath Easwaran said "renounce and enjoy". Give up your possessions. Yield up your possessiveness of other people. Shuffle loose the fetters limiting you from becoming. I'm not sure he meant not feeling responsible for picking up the mess. I could leave the mess behind. Phoenix burn and reborn.